Six years ago, I decided to be an expat. I wasn’t pressured nor forced into it. It was a decision that, after two months or so of careful thought process, I made for myself. There were no external factors either, such as the need to feed a family or a desire to please parents who obliged me to. Simply put, I had the freedom to choose whether or not I’ll go.
Unfortunately not all Filipinos who decide to go overseas and be an expat have the same circumstance as myself. While the need to provide for the family isn’t always the reason why Filipinos try their luck overseas, in most cases, it is. And I can just imagine the pain and sacrifice one has to go through when deciding to leave everything behind, whether they like it or not, just so they can provide a better future for their family.
Expat: noun, a person who lives outside their native country.
However, if you are one of the lucky few who have the luxury to say “I’ll think about it” should an opportunity to go overseas arise, then I suggest that you really really reeeeeaally do think about it. It’s definitely not a walk in a park but if you manage to pull through, 9 out of 10 I guarantee you, you will become 100% way better than you are right now in so many ways you can only imagine.
Being an expat is rewarding
Let’s face it, whether money is your motivation in becoming an expat or not, money sure is one helluva reward you’re gonna be looking forward to. With the rate foreign currencies are going these days, you’d be able to buy your enemy and their friends in no time. Plus the bar.
No, seriously. Assuming you know how to manage your finances and you live a modest lifestyle coupled with a go-hard-or-go-home attitude, you’d be able to buy the gadgets, clothes, and/or designer bags you’ve only been dreaming of.
But it’s not only the financial reward that’s worth looking forward to. There’s also the chance to do things you otherwise won’t be able to do back home and the opportunity to see places that you never even knew existed. Not only that, but to discover that you had within you the skills and qualities needed to survive out there in the world, that alone is a reward worth more than any material possession you can ever have. That and many more. Those are the things that you would be rewarded with, should you choose to be an expat.
To discover that you had within you the skills and qualities needed to survive out there in the world, that alone is a reward worth more than any material possession you can ever have.
But it’s bloody depressing
You’re alone, you’re in a new environment, and you literally don’t know know anyone. Or at least that was my case when I arrived in Sydney almost five years ago.
So if you have a weak heart and an emotional range of a teaspoon, then I have two words for you: DON’T. GO.
Going overseas and living in a strange, foreign land, surrounded with strangers is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for the ones who easily run away at the first sign of trouble nor those who resign to quitting when homesickness kicks in.
It’s not going to be like back home where, after a long day at work washing the dishes or someone else’s arse, you can just call your mates and say “hey let’s hang out and have some beer.” No sir. Assuming you do find some mates, they too are gonna have their own lives to worry about. Actually, once you get off from work, all you are gonna be looking forward to is your warm cozy bed. But you can’t do that because, guess what, you still have to cook dinner as well as your food for tomorrow. Or maybe you have to do your laundry first because you’re out of undies. Or a hundred other things that you eventually decide that you’ll just doze off in the hopes that those things are going to figure themselves out. So tomorrow when you wake up, they’re still there.
It’s sad. It’s depressing. And it takes a whole lot of core strength to survive.
And surviving means you become a warrior
It’s like ROTC boot camp. You enter as a regular college boy and you come out as a disciplined well-mannered individual. Only it’s 1000x tougher.
One of the best things that will come out from being an expat is that you are going to become a warrior. Not the type with face paint and a spear on one hand and a shield on the other. Although that looks pretty cool too.
I’m talking about a warrior who isn’t afraid of any monsters under the bed or the closet. Be it in the form of an annoying flat mate or a ridiculously insensitive work supervisor or an inconsiderate ass-hat of a friend.
The things you learn while being an expat are invaluable. And I’m not talking about how to get from point A to point B using the Tube, or how to cook rice using a microwave, or how to say “good morning” in three different languages.
You learn to say NO when you mean it; you learn to stand up, not just to those people who are against you, but most importantly to your friends, and; most of all, you learn to be kind to yourself when needed. These are the things that makes one a warrior.
From this point forward you can practically survive any test, any difficulty, or any challenge that the world is going to throw at you, whether it’s in your host country or back home. Because that’s what being an expat does. It brings out the best in us and it makes us discover things about ourselves that we had no idea was there.
Although the grass may not always be greener
Unfortunately, you would be disappointed to find out that the grass on the other side was not as green as you thought it would be. I’m not talking about the grass being money either. Don’t worry about that. There’s going to be plenty of that wherever you’re going I’m sure.
I’m talking about happiness, contentment, sense of security, or anything at all. Whatever it was you were looking for in the first place other than money. Throw in there your mental health and the health of your relationship with your partner and kids back home as well. These are the things, non-tangible things, that you are going to potentially put at risk when you decide to become an expat. Key word: potentially.
You may end up sitting in your room one day, while the 54″ 4k UHD TV is playing some random movie in the background, and think that you were way much happier then than you are now. Things were much simpler and you were much more content, even though you did not have a lot of money.
Because truth be told, it’s not always about the money. And sometimes the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
But it’s the most amazing journey
Nothing, and I mean nothing, can compare to the thrill and the excitement of living your life all over again.
Imagine the first time you rode a bicycle, or the first time you held the hand of your crush, or your first kiss. I’m pretty sure the butterflies in your stomach were going bananas each of those times. Now multiply that a hundred folds.
Yeah, it’s one helluva joyride.
And it’s not just about seeing new places or tasting new food or learning new things. It’s about re-discovering yourself in various ways you had no idea was possible. It’s getting to know yourself more and completely letting go and being free.
The best part? No one is going to judge you.
Sure, there are bad days and then there are really really bad ones. But those bad days happen even if you’re back home, right? So why not make the most of your life and enjoy the journey while you’re at it? The bad days are going to happen anyway.
Watch: Road tripping in Australia | The Weekend Warrior Ep 1
You’re going to miss out on a lot of things
And I mean a lot. Birthdays, anniversaries, reunions, Christmases, and, yes, even deaths.
Time flies so freakingly fast when you’re overseas. Days go by like the hour hand in a clock. You wake up Monday morning and the next thing you know, it’s already Friday night. Or worse, you sleep Friday night and when you wake up, it’s suddenly Monday. Like where the hell did the weekend go??
During those times, between train rides and bus stops and seemingly endless shifts, a lot of things are gonna be happening back home. Your kids are going growing up, your best mate is getting married, your dog dies. And all those times, you won’t be there to share the joy and happiness with them. You won’t be there to comfort them in sorrow and pain. Sure, there’s FaceTime and Messenger and all that stuff, but nothing compares to wrapping your arms around the people you hold dear the most.
During those times, between train rides and bus stops and seemingly endless shifts, a lot of things are gonna be happening back home.
Summary
Going abroad, leaving everything behind, and searching for greener pastures isn’t for everyone. It isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I think I already mentioned that but I just want to say it again. I cannot overemphasise it enough. Whoever said it is easy and it’s just like a walk in a park was lying to your face. Unless they meant Jurassic Park.
BUT (and this is a big BUT) if you decide to go, after all your sleepless nights of careful thinking and weighing the pros and cons, after reading all the things I said about why you shouldn’t go, after all your diligent research, and after 1000x consideration of the possible risks, you still decide to go, then go. Do not let anyone, or anything, stand in your way. If you cannot stop thinking about it, then definitely you should do it. Because I guarantee you, you will regret it if you don’t. And if it scares the shit out of you, then good. Because then you know it’s worth doing.
So GO! Go and conquer not just the world but your fears and doubts and your insecurities as well. And do so with faith that everything will fall into its proper places and that you are going to survive it, albeit full of scars and a totally different you.
Now GO! Go and grab that opportunity by its balls, hold it tight, and never let go. Trust me when I say that going abroad and leaving your country is one of the best things you are ever going to do in your life. The world is yours for the taking.
Aja!